Cats vs Dogs Final Round!

Apparently, this is my not so much anticipated final round of cats vs dogs--which are more intelligent? Comments on my post of declined to the point of zero over the past few months--from a fairly auspicious beginning with my most commented post of all time, What makes Entrecard so addictive? I am not really certain if this is a reflection of the deteriorating quality of my recent posts, or maybe just the ugly blog skin that I switched to? Well, heck, I write late at night and I've been fairly uninspired lately...

The winner....

Despite the malicious tactic used by the dog in the final round of my previous post, does the cat emerge as the winner of this tie-breaker.

Cat opening door:



Dog opening car door:



The judges have ruled that this round is a tie. Tune in next time for round 5!

Brave New World...Forgeddit!

To be certain, this will be my first attempt at writing an interesting (hopefully) yet nonsensical post that seems to put my readers in a calm, relaxed mental state. You know, the kind of hypnotic post many Entrecard readers have read on Monkey Fables and Tales. I find that after reading his blog posts I feel entertained, relaxed, ready for a restful sleep, yet somewhat unclear about what I actually read or what he was really implying. Conversely, I feel like I just had a conversation with a friend about some related nonsensical events.

Even Aldous Huxley lacked the prescience to predict the modern world in which we live. The complexity of our daily lives has increased exponentially--even over the past ten years. Ten years ago, we were worried about brushing our teeth--now we're forced to fiddle with blue tooth technology and Crest white strips. Delicious--once a word to describe perhaps your favorite apple pie, now is the name of a social networking site. Neologisms are being added to our lexicons at a resounding rate. The nineties were all about keeping up with the Joneses, now we're preoccupied with keeping up with the latest social networking tool. It can certainly feel overwhelming at times...

Follow me on Twitter...
I remember the time I first stumbled upon a great Mexican restaurant, now I stumble upon web pages using the stumble bar. Spurl, furl, reddit, diligo, simpy, fark, follow me on twitter... Who can even be bothered to find out what these social networking sites actually do or how they even work? How about a new social networking tool--Let's call it, "Forgeddit!" Forgeddit doesn't have a web page yet--to use this new social networking tool, just go to a trade show, tuperware party, wine and cheese, or Christmas party and mingle with some real live folks.

Do you have anything more productive to do with your time than to follow me on twitter? Why don't you follow me to a restaurant and get a bite to eat or follow me to the Heat game and enjoy some old fashioned entertainment. There's a few other places you can follow me to like a bar, beach, gentlemen's club, or whatever. Either way, I am sure that you will 'digg it.'

I am sure that if you really met me, you would find that I am likely more inane than insane. My Space? Forgeddit, I will invite you over to my place. We can sit and watch a football game and have a few beers. If you're cool, I might offer some de.li.cious chocolate cake. Then we can play some music and listen to some technorati, I mean, uhh techno. I also have several great facebooks, uhh, I mean photo albums that I love to share with my friends.

Cats vs Dogs...

Today, I was contemplating which species of animal is more intelligent, cats or dogs...? I am going to make this a three round bout. In the red corner, we have the domestic feline cat (felis catus) and the white corner, we have the domestic dog (Canis lupus familiaris).

The tale of the tape gives the dog the slight size and weight advantage, but this contest has more to do with dementia pugilistica than pugilism. Which species will win? Will one species capitulate before the third round?

Round 1.
Domesticated cat using a toilet



Round 1 winner: The Cat! I couldn't find a video of a dog using the facilities...


Round 2. Thirst is a natural instinct. Which animal is better able to satisfy their thirst with the toilet?

The dog:



The cat:



Round 2 winner: This was a toss-up, but the cat was able to take a quick drink and then finish up with a number 2.

Okay, so far the cat has won the first two rounds. Naturally, 2/3 makes the cat the winner. However, in the spirit of competition, the last round is going to be worth double points to give the dog a chance to tie things up. The third round requires no introduction. If you're still watching this series, then you're just a little deranged which is okay.

Round 3:

The dog:



The cat:



As you can see, I was wrong about the size and weight advantage not being a factor. Despite losing the first two rounds, the dog has tied up the contest with the crucial double point third round. Sure, the dog used a dubious tactic to tie this contest up, but either way, we're forced to go into our tie breaking round. Tune in next time for the finale!

Anti Monkey Butt Powder!

Here's a real gem that I happened to find today! It's the cure we've all be looking for. Relax your muscles, pull out your wallet, and go buy some of this anti-monkey butt powder to stay fresh!

Oh, for the ill-informed, here is the top definition of 'monkey butt' from the Urban dictionary:

"Monkey butt:
on a hot summer day when you don't wipe your ass good after a shit and your asshole gets chaffed and then sweat mixes in fucking up your whole day."



Here's what happens if you get a whiff of some monkey butt:




Okay, let's make this a trilogy. Here's some monkey butt lunch: