-Digg-ing for dummies, 101

Digg (dot) com for Dummies?

For the many people who've tried to use Digg (dot) com to promote their blog traffic, it doesn't take very long to realize that for most bloggers, Digg is a very ineffective tool. In fact, trying to make a Digg popular pretty much feels like pissing in the wind for most people.

What Digg is really about?

Okay, the first thing to understand and this was honestly hard to grasp for myself, is that people who use Digg often have vastly different objectives than many bloggers like myself. It's very easy and natural to assume that the majority of Digg users are simply trying to promote their own blog posts or websites. I myself quickly learned that more often than not, this is not the case.

Types of Digg users:

1. The blogger

--Like myself or many of you reading this post, we submit our blog posts to digg, then hope that some miracle occurs and our posts actually get dugg. If you're like me and writing on a blogspot domain, then the power diggers can see you coming from a mile away. In fact, there's a very good chance that by virtue of your domain alone, that you're post will simply get buried.

2. The spammer--

Yes, the spammer is somewhat like the blogger, but differs in that they are spamming diggs to product or affiliate sites. Affiliate diggs actually violate the Digg TOS. Spammers, to be certain, you're chances of getting your product page to the front page of digg is virtually impossible--unless you're hacking the system with scripts.

3. The noob--

Yes the noobs like us. The Digg noob simply creates a Digg account then maybe adds a digg button on their blog. We cheerfully submit our little posts to Digg and wait and see what happens which is invariably very little. Further, noobs don't try to acuire new friends, post shouts, or even check to see if they have any fans. Noobs are completely oblivious of the whole social aspect of digg.

4. The Digg idealist--

Yes, there are actually a vast number of people on Digg who have no selfish motives of promoting traffic to their own sites our blogs. They take their Digg powers very seriously. They vigilantly Digg stories that they find newsworthy and bury stories that they don't. The idealist is often very selective also in terms of the like-minded mutual friends that they acquire. They will send shouts out for relevant newsworthy items to Diggs on domains like CNN dot com or other credible news sites.

5. The Digg Shark--

Much like a card shark, the Digg Shark is someone who's figured out how the system actually works. Though the sole motive of the digg shark is simply to promote traffic to their own website or blog, they're actually cognizant of how Digg works. For example, digg sharks collect active users as mutual friends (more than 150) whom they spam shouts to. However, they conceal their real agendas but occassionally submitting relevant news articles and digging
ligitimate news stories from credible domains.

6. The Digg Power User--

The Digg power user is not much different than the Digg Shark, however, they have a completely different agenda. Unlike the Digg Shark, they are not simply using Digg to drive traffic to one of their own websites or blogs. Instead, the Digg Power user takes somewhat of a narcissitic pride in their ability to influence news traffic. Digg Power users have large mutual friend lists consisting of select other digg users who are on Digg around the clock and extremely active. You can spot a Digg Power user from a mile away--simply check their stats on the bottom right of the Digg profile. You will see tha they make 35+% of their submissions made popular. Further, all of the stories that they make popular are on various credible news domains.


How to make a story popular?

Let's first point out that there is a world of difference between making a story popular on Digg that's from your own blog or website, than there is to making a story popular on a high-traffic Digg-enabled site.

Top Ten list:

1. If you're trying to make a story popular on a blogspot domain, then I wish you the world of luck. Though possible if you have 150 active mutual friends, it's very difficult as these submissions often get burried like crazy by other digg users.
2. Mutual friends--yes we all need a little help from our friends. If you can acquire a large list of active mutual friends, then it makes the world of difference. To do this, you will need to frequently check your fans and accept them or simply become a fan of other active users and hope that they accept.
3. Submit a story on a popular domain--be the first (Non-news). If you can submit a story on a ulta-high traffic, Digg-enabled website, then this will make your job very easy. The hardest part is often being the first to digg the article. After this, you can ride the site's wave of traffic and loyal supporters who digg it. Once you've actually made a story popular, it's much easier to acquire new mutual friends.
4. Submit news story from Newspaper website or CNN etc. This is a very daunting task as stories are often in syndication which means that the same story appears on multiple domains. This makes your life particularly hard as it is often very difficult to be the first to submit a story. Worse yet, even if you are the first to submit the story on one domain, someone else can still submit the story on another domain. You's might get burried and there's dugg. i.e. you submit an article from the New York Post, while someone else submits the same story from the LA Times website.
   
5. Send shouts--this is painfully obvious, but you really need as many active mutual friends as possible and you can't be afraid to sent the shout out if you want the story to take off.
6. Comments--again painfully obvious, but frequently commenting on diggs helps you acquire friends and also helps to promote your digg.
7. Digg your friends--again painfully obvious, but you have to actively digg your friends stories if you want them to do the same.
8. Getting a story popular on your own website or blog. First make sure that you have a custom domain. Then, hopefully you have enough loyal readers as well as some help from your digg friends to get the job done.
9. The bait and switch--this is painfully popular technique. How this works: you become a fan of a popular user. They see this and send you a shout asking you to digg all of their favorites. You naively do so thinking that they've already accepted your mutual friendship. When you try to send them a shout back, you learn that they don't accept your shouts and they didn't actually accept your friendship.
10. Last, but not least--the bury. Yes, you can actually bury related stories to help your own story stand out. Some diggers are particularly viscious about burrying stories and maybe even send shouts out to bury stories they don't particularly like.
    

Flying economy these days...

Ahh to reminisce about the days of yore, when taking a flight involved free food, a movie, and a little bit of leg room. As an act of derision, airlines now pack us into our seats like canned sardines. What's next, will they use a space saver bag to allow them to seat more passengers?

Terse words were never so truly spoken as "coach class." However, in a vain effort to ameliorate class distinctions, we're now derided with words like economy class as if to remind us that we're actually saving money.

On my last flight, the last t-shirt I wore, looked something like this: [Oh and I flew 'economy class']

Cats vs Dogs Final Round!

Apparently, this is my not so much anticipated final round of cats vs dogs--which are more intelligent? Comments on my post of declined to the point of zero over the past few months--from a fairly auspicious beginning with my most commented post of all time, What makes Entrecard so addictive? I am not really certain if this is a reflection of the deteriorating quality of my recent posts, or maybe just the ugly blog skin that I switched to? Well, heck, I write late at night and I've been fairly uninspired lately...

The winner....

Despite the malicious tactic used by the dog in the final round of my previous post, does the cat emerge as the winner of this tie-breaker.

Cat opening door:



Dog opening car door:



The judges have ruled that this round is a tie. Tune in next time for round 5!

Brave New World...Forgeddit!

To be certain, this will be my first attempt at writing an interesting (hopefully) yet nonsensical post that seems to put my readers in a calm, relaxed mental state. You know, the kind of hypnotic post many Entrecard readers have read on Monkey Fables and Tales. I find that after reading his blog posts I feel entertained, relaxed, ready for a restful sleep, yet somewhat unclear about what I actually read or what he was really implying. Conversely, I feel like I just had a conversation with a friend about some related nonsensical events.

Even Aldous Huxley lacked the prescience to predict the modern world in which we live. The complexity of our daily lives has increased exponentially--even over the past ten years. Ten years ago, we were worried about brushing our teeth--now we're forced to fiddle with blue tooth technology and Crest white strips. Delicious--once a word to describe perhaps your favorite apple pie, now is the name of a social networking site. Neologisms are being added to our lexicons at a resounding rate. The nineties were all about keeping up with the Joneses, now we're preoccupied with keeping up with the latest social networking tool. It can certainly feel overwhelming at times...

Follow me on Twitter...
I remember the time I first stumbled upon a great Mexican restaurant, now I stumble upon web pages using the stumble bar. Spurl, furl, reddit, diligo, simpy, fark, follow me on twitter... Who can even be bothered to find out what these social networking sites actually do or how they even work? How about a new social networking tool--Let's call it, "Forgeddit!" Forgeddit doesn't have a web page yet--to use this new social networking tool, just go to a trade show, tuperware party, wine and cheese, or Christmas party and mingle with some real live folks.

Do you have anything more productive to do with your time than to follow me on twitter? Why don't you follow me to a restaurant and get a bite to eat or follow me to the Heat game and enjoy some old fashioned entertainment. There's a few other places you can follow me to like a bar, beach, gentlemen's club, or whatever. Either way, I am sure that you will 'digg it.'

I am sure that if you really met me, you would find that I am likely more inane than insane. My Space? Forgeddit, I will invite you over to my place. We can sit and watch a football game and have a few beers. If you're cool, I might offer some de.li.cious chocolate cake. Then we can play some music and listen to some technorati, I mean, uhh techno. I also have several great facebooks, uhh, I mean photo albums that I love to share with my friends.

Cats vs Dogs...

Today, I was contemplating which species of animal is more intelligent, cats or dogs...? I am going to make this a three round bout. In the red corner, we have the domestic feline cat (felis catus) and the white corner, we have the domestic dog (Canis lupus familiaris).

The tale of the tape gives the dog the slight size and weight advantage, but this contest has more to do with dementia pugilistica than pugilism. Which species will win? Will one species capitulate before the third round?

Round 1.
Domesticated cat using a toilet



Round 1 winner: The Cat! I couldn't find a video of a dog using the facilities...


Round 2. Thirst is a natural instinct. Which animal is better able to satisfy their thirst with the toilet?

The dog:



The cat:



Round 2 winner: This was a toss-up, but the cat was able to take a quick drink and then finish up with a number 2.

Okay, so far the cat has won the first two rounds. Naturally, 2/3 makes the cat the winner. However, in the spirit of competition, the last round is going to be worth double points to give the dog a chance to tie things up. The third round requires no introduction. If you're still watching this series, then you're just a little deranged which is okay.

Round 3:

The dog:



The cat:



As you can see, I was wrong about the size and weight advantage not being a factor. Despite losing the first two rounds, the dog has tied up the contest with the crucial double point third round. Sure, the dog used a dubious tactic to tie this contest up, but either way, we're forced to go into our tie breaking round. Tune in next time for the finale!

Anti Monkey Butt Powder!

Here's a real gem that I happened to find today! It's the cure we've all be looking for. Relax your muscles, pull out your wallet, and go buy some of this anti-monkey butt powder to stay fresh!

Oh, for the ill-informed, here is the top definition of 'monkey butt' from the Urban dictionary:

"Monkey butt:
on a hot summer day when you don't wipe your ass good after a shit and your asshole gets chaffed and then sweat mixes in fucking up your whole day."



Here's what happens if you get a whiff of some monkey butt:




Okay, let's make this a trilogy. Here's some monkey butt lunch:

Close, but no cigar...